How to Speak to Women and Make Them Crazy About You

The person who controls the level of abstraction controls the communication.

The most effective way to communicate to a woman is by getting her to use her imagination, but how do you actually do that? What's the system? How do you communicate using attractive language? In this article I'm going to give you an easy technique to put to immediate use. If that's something that would that be of value to you, keep reading.

My friend and fellow PUA l0ck was explaining his online techniques and since I suck at online game, I tried them. Fast forward to I'm messaging and IM-ing this one girl and she's really into me. As we were going back and forth I never gave her direct answers to her questions. This is important. because then everything she thinks, she will own. The thoughts become hers and hers alone.

Giving a girl specific answers to her questions builds a clear picture in her mind very quickly whereas giving her ambiguous answers activates her imagination and leaves her mind open and wondering about you. She builds the mystery in her mind and you become and enigma to her.

The technique I use to communicate like this is called The Hierarchy of Ideas. It's a very simple model which assists us in being able to move from levels of abstraction (existence, happiness) to levels of specificity (nuts, bolts).

SPECIFICITY, AMBIGUITY & CHUNKING

How we move throughout The Hierarchy of Ideas is known as "chunking". There are 3 directions in which we can chunk. Up, down and laterally. Chunking up gives you the big picture, chunking down gives you details and chunking laterally gives us other examples on the same plane of thinking. Let me introduce you to the Hierarchy of Ideas and the concept of chunking. First we take a word and place it in the center of the model. Lets use the word "car". Study at this model for a minute.

CHUNKING UP

We can chunk up by asking 3 questions:

What is this an example of?

For what purpose?

What is the intention?

Car, for what purpose? and the answer is transportation. Transportation, for what purpose? and the answer is movement. Movement for what purpose? and the answer is existence. "Existence" is a pretty high level of ABSTRACTION, and this is chunking UP.

CHUNKING DOWN

We chunk down on car by asking :

What are examples of this?

What specifically?

Car, what's an example of this? and the answer would be Pontiac. What Pontiac specifically? and the answer is Grand Am. What specifically on the Grand Am? and the answer would be wheels. (asking what are examples of this now would not allow us to chunk down any more, it would only allow us to chunk over) What specifically on the wheels? and the answer would be wheel nuts.

CHUNKING LATERALLY

Chunk laterally by chunking up one level and over. From car we chunk up to transportation and from there we ask for examples of it, planes, trains, buses, boats, etc.

EXAMPLES OF ATTRACTIVE LANGUAGE

Her: what kind of music was it?

Me!: the opposite of american "metal", which is depressing and angry.. it is positive, powerful, uplifting and inspiring.

Her: but loud and powerful like metal?

Her: so green day, do you like or dislike?

Me!: uh, much more powerful than green day.

Her: now I am curious

Her first question was looking for a specific answer, and I could have answered "power metal" but since that doesn't leave too much to the imagination, I used adjectives to describe it. Remaining vague leaves more for her to imagine. Then she uses Green Day as a specific example and again, I use an ambiguous adjective and it piques her curiosity.

Her: yes, the website? was that your favorite band or are you in a band?

Me!: I have many favorite bands. That was one of them.

I don't answer if I am in a band or not. I could easily start explaining that I was at one point but I'm not anymore and blah blah blah. Instead I leave it open by ignoring it and saying something vague about many bands and leave her wondering what the rest are.

Me!: I'm the kind of person that, when I like something, I like it all the way. Not halfway, or a quarter, but all the way.

Her: ok, but you still have an open mind to other things, right?

Me!: Some things I'm close minded too, if they don't suit me at all. Other things I can tolerate.

I don't give any specific answers here at all leaving her with how I think and not what I think about something specific.

THE MIND FILLS IN THE BLANKS

When the mind organizes information it does so in a linear process. When the mind senses gaps in the line it tries to fill them in so it can understand. When there is nothing to fill the gaps, when you don't build bridges across the gaps, the person will do that on their own to try and make sense of the information you've given them. People become drawn to you when you are a mystery.

Her: ok, there is this mystery about you and I understand it's unique but I am dying to get to know you better

Me!: Well, I'll call you tomorrow and you'll get to know me a little bit better.

When you begin to communicate using the hierarchy, and you train yourself to think in abstract ways, you can think circles around people and attract anyone you want into your life.

EXERCISE

Pick 10 words. Chunk up, down and laterally on them. Chunk up as high and as low as you can. If you need help, post a comment or response to this article and I'll do my best to help you.

~Serendipitous

Lead Your Women For Chrissssakes!

I've been watching couples recently and I've been noticing some things:

1. The vast majority of older men LEAD their women.

2. The vast majority of younger men are led BY their women.

I've been seeing this a lot lately and it's really disturbing. The younger generation of men, even the attractive, well built, handsome, rich, etc, etc.. men, are being led by their women. I could interpret this as these men are insecure and I think that sums it up. Since age is only part of the problem, I'll talk about that more in a bit but, insecurity is the other part of the problem.

I had a student recently ask me a lot of questions through IM. I'm going to post part of the conversation here for you to read.

Me: Insecurity is a major problem for men. Not being sure hurts them.

Student: Why?

Me: They are afraid that if they can't please their woman, she will leave.

Student: Why are they afraid she will leave?

Me: Because they do not think they will find another woman to replace her.

Student: Why do they think they can't replace a woman?

Me: Because (for them) it is hard to bring a woman into their reality and keep her there.

Student: Why do they think finding and keeping a woman is hard?

Me: Because all of the women in their lives have left them.

Student: Why have all of the women in their lives left them?

Me: Because they are insecure.

Student: What does a man do when he is insecure?

Me: He acts like he must please her all the time.

Student: How does this make him look to a woman?

Me: It makes him look weak.

Student: What does a woman think about weak men?

Me: She thinks they are unattractive.

Student: Why does she perceive him to be unattractive?

Me: Because he supplicates to her.

Student: How does he supplicate to her?

Me: By always trying to make her happy.

Student: Why does he always try to make her happy?

Me: Because he lets his fear of not being able to please her rule his decisions.

Student: Why does he do that?

Me: Because he does not have the tools to make her happy.

Student: Why doesn't he have the tools?

Me: Because his father never taught him.

Student: Why didn't his father teach him?

And it was at this point that I needed to stop him and explain what the effect of the women's liberation movement had on men. When women became more independent, men became confused. Their inability to adapt to this sudden and traumatic shift in power left them bewildered. Men and women couldn't communicate with each other effectively anymore, the divorce rate grew. To this day, the dust still hasn't settled. The divorce rate is higher than ever and the men are supplicating to women.

After becoming aware of this deterioration, this shift in power, I began to notice how the changes have rung out in my own family's history. My 4 grandparents were of the golden age and my grandfathers had always retained their masculine power in their relationships. My mother and father were different. My mother was more vocal and more independent and took a very active role as leader of the family. My father didn't know how to handle this, or rather he thought things weren't worth the constant arguing over so he would let my mother have her way. As I write this article I am remembering telling my father to stand up to her, put his foot down and be a man. It's funny that I could see it back then and knew what the right thing was. I went on to have worse relationships with women and I gave my power away before I even knew I had it.

The generational deterioration is clear looking back. This was something I had to take action and fix, and I'm glad that I did because I have much better relationships now. Women appreciate it when I stand my ground, when I lead, when I put them in their place.

I'm not talking about being domineering. Domineering is asserting your will over a woman in an arrogant way. What I'm talking about is being dominant. Dominance is influencing your woman to do what you want in a way that benefits her too.

Here are some examples from the conversation I had with my student.

Student: Can you give me an example of how men are domineering?

Me: Being domineering is telling her not to wear certain clothing because you don't want her revealing too much of her body.

Student: And what would the dominant way to handle the same situation be?

Me: The dominant way would be to explain to her that you like it when she dresses a certain way and that you find her more attractive in a certain type of clothing.

Student: The second way just sounds like you are asking her. How is that being dominant?

Me: You're forgetting that being dominant is influencing her to make a different choice on her own.

Student: Ah.. I get it. Demanding she not wear certain things is domineering and dominant is telling her you find her more attractive if she dresses another way.

Me: Right. One way gives her choice, the other does not.

Student: What if she keeps wearing the clothes I don't like?

Me: Well I suppose you aren't influencing her enough.

Student: What could I do to influence her more?

Me: The biggest thing you can do is reward her for choosing what you like.

Student: How do I reward her for choosing what I want her to do?

Me: The easiest way is to give her value.

Student: How do I give her value?

Me: If the issue is that you want her to dress differently, take her shopping. Pick out things you want her to wear. When she tries it on and you like it, tell her how sexy you think she is. Make her feel good when you like something she does.

Student: What if she picks out something I don't like?

Me: Don't reward her for it. Tell her to hand it to you so you can look at it, tell her you don't like it, put it back on the rack and hand her something you do like.

Student: What if she wants to buy it anyway?

Me: Stress that you'd really like her to buy the other thing because it turns you on to see her dressed that way. Make her feel good when you tell her what you want. Grab her, pull her in, talk dirty to her. Make her feel good. Way deep down inside.

Student: How does making her feel good work?

Me: You have to understand what women want most in a man. Guys, we want her to do things for us. Things like cook for us, get us a beer, wash our laundry, clean up after us, give us blow jobs, etc.. That's typically how a guy wants a woman to show her she loves him. Women, on the other hand, they just want to feel loved. They really could give a shit what else you do as long as you make them feel loved.

Student: Okay.. So when you communicate your love for her as a reward for giving you what you want, she's more apt to do it because she's getting what she needs from you.

Me: Exactly.

Most guys make the huge mistake of rewarding a girl when she hasn't earned it. They think that by taking her to her favorite restaurant or the movie that she wants to see, or by letting her decide where she wants to go will make her happy and it doesn't. She hasn't earned those things.

Guys make the mistake of placing too much value on her. She knows she hasn't earned it and it is unsatisfying to her. Put yourself in her shoes. Let's imagine that everywhere you went you had people trying to do things for you. At first this would seem pretty awesome; people serving you and doing things for you and you never have to do anything for yourself. That would get old after a while. You'd start to resent everyone who was offering to do these things for you. Well that's exactly what happens to a woman who's being supplicated to by a man. She loses attraction for him.

Lead your women for chrissssakes! Not only do they want you to lead them but both you and her feel better when you lead. Relationships tend to work better when a man can successfully lead the way. Deep down, she's counting on you for protection and leading her is a way to show her you are looking out for her.

~Serendipitous